JAY-Z Gets EMOTIONAL Revisiting '4:44,' His Song About Cheating on Beyoncé

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JAY-Z is opening up about one of the most vulnerable songs of his career — and admitting that even nearly a decade later, listening to it is still difficult.

In the latest episode of HBO's JAŸ-Z In 8, the rapper sat down with longtime collaborator Rick Rubin to revisit his 2017 song “4:44,” the deeply personal track in which he addressed infidelity, fatherhood and the damage his actions had caused in his marriage to Beyoncé.

The conversation became emotional as JAY-Z listened back to the song, revealing that he has rarely returned to it since recording it.

“Just Listening to It Is Hard”

While discussing the track with Rubin, JAY-Z admitted that “4:44” is among the songs he has listened to the least since making it.

He explained that creating the song was already difficult, but hearing it again brings another level of emotion.

The song was released in 2017 as the title track of his 13th studio album. Its lyrics became one of JAY-Z's most direct public reflections on his relationship with Beyoncé and his own behavior during their marriage.

A Song About Infidelity and Fatherhood

“4:44” wasn't simply an apology to Beyoncé. JAY-Z also used the song to confront the kind of father and husband he wanted to become.

The rapper has previously explained that his music and Beyoncé's Lemonade became a form of therapy for the couple as they worked through a difficult period in their relationship.

Years later, those themes still carry weight for him.

In the documentary, JAY-Z reflects on the possibility of his children one day hearing the song and understanding the circumstances behind it — a thought that continues to make the track particularly difficult for him to revisit.

His Children Changed the Meaning of the Song

JAY-Z and Beyoncé are parents to three children: daughter Blue Ivy and twins Rumi and Sir.

As JAY-Z looks back on “4:44,” the song carries a different meaning now than it did when he recorded it. What was once a deeply personal confession has become part of his children's history as well.

That connection to fatherhood is one of the reasons the song remains so emotionally complicated for him.

Looking Back With Rick Rubin

The conversation is part of JAŸ-Z In 8, an eight-part HBO documentary series in which JAY-Z and Rubin revisit songs from throughout his career and examine the experiences behind them.

The series marks Rubin's directorial documentary debut and explores how JAY-Z's music connects to his childhood, relationships, family and evolution as an artist.

For JAY-Z, revisiting “4:44” means confronting a version of himself he has spent years growing beyond — but the emotions behind the song clearly haven't disappeared.

Nearly a decade after its release, the track still carries the weight of an apology, a reckoning and a promise to do better.

Source: ET